What's Your Conflict Style?

Discover how you handle disagreements with 12 real-life scenarios. Based on the Thomas-Kilmann framework, adapted for personal relationships.

3 minutes100% privateNo sign-up
Question 1 of 12

The Chore Imbalance

You've had a long week. You come home to find your partner has left the kitchen in a mess for the third day in a row, despite agreeing to handle it.

You've had a long week. You come home to find your partner has left the kitchen in a mess for the third day in a row, despite agreeing to handle it.

The 5 conflict styles

Based on the Thomas-Kilmann model, which maps conflict behavior along two dimensions: assertiveness (your needs) and cooperativeness (their needs).

Competing

The Boundary Guardian

High assertiveness, low cooperativeness. You protect your needs directly.

Collaborating

The Synergy Builder

High assertiveness, high cooperativeness. You seek win-win solutions.

Compromising

The Pragmatic Partner

Moderate on both. You split the difference and move on.

Avoiding

The Harmonious Peacekeeper

Low assertiveness, low cooperativeness. You sidestep and give space.

Accommodating

The Devoted Supporter

Low assertiveness, high cooperativeness. You prioritize the relationship.

Frequently asked questions

What are the 5 conflict styles?+

Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, and Accommodating. Everyone uses all five, but most have a default under stress.

How is this different from the official TKI?+

Our questions are scenario-based and focused on personal relationships, using real-life situations instead of abstract statements.

Is there a 'best' conflict style?+

No. All five are useful in different situations. The goal is flexibility — choosing the right style for each situation.

Can my style change depending on who I'm with?+

Yes. People often use different styles with different people. Your default is what you fall back on under stress.

Is my data private?+

Yes, 100%. The quiz runs entirely in your browser. No answers are sent to any server.

Ready to put your style to work?

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